This article just went up over at Boldly Go, a relatively new blog I’ve been reading for a while. A few excerpts:
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I cannot count how many times in many poly communities I’ve come across the ever fun figure of the Poly Patriarch. A white, economically privileged male “ally” of “the gays” who appropriates queer struggles, queer blood, queer death, and queer hatred because if he tells his mean ex-wife about having two girlfriends in their 20s, she might go all harpy on him and tell the courts and he *could* lose custody. While I won’t deny that there are real threats that non-monogamous people face due to slut shaming, misogyny, and general heterosexist cispatriarchical bullshit, I seriously doubt that Poly Patriarch who snorts at mentions of feminism and who probably has never got shit for who he loves in his life is going to be one of the first ones that the hammer falls on. I’m sick to death of “allies” telling me that they have a right to call themselves queer just because they date more than one person, especially when they have lipstick parties in middle class suburbia while queer kids are forced into homelessness, nonconsensual sex work, and death…
…
The third huge problem that I’ve run into is something that I see in a lot of communities: the perpetuation of abuse and abusers. This is a similar problem to what I’ve run into with the BDSM community, where people swear up and down that abusers are eliminated by some sort of Darwinistic natural selection within communities – that no one of course would put up with that sort of awful behaviour! And I run across a similar sort of sentiment within poly, except there’s little to no actual acknowledgement about how poly is kind of ideal for abusers…
October 2012
1 post
September 2012
2 posts
August 2012
13 posts
❒ Single
❒ Taken
✔ I don’t want to get married. I want to stay single and let my hair flow through the wind, as I ride through the glen firing arrows into the sunset.
Short answer: yes. absolutely 100%.
Long answer: this link.
This is a very positive and informative article about fisting, and misconceptions about fisting. I seriously suggest you read it. Even if you don’t have a vagina, and have no intention of having a sexual relationship with somebody who has a vagina, it’s still a very interesting article.
Vaginal fisting is a favorite sexual activity of my girlfriend and I. No, her vagina is not “loose” or abnormal, nor does it hurt her. She actually has the most amazing orgasms from it.
Poly And Race: Poly and Black by B. L. Bunche (via radtransfem)
It may just be the area I live in, but I don’t think I’ve met any openly poly people (outside of tumblr) who aren’t white.
(via polyverse)
I can’t comment on you and the area you live in, but one general effect of white supremacy I’ve noticed more since Black friends of mine pointed it out to me is that white people, including me, can simply ignore anyone except for other white people, or notice them less, or not notice that they’re not white(!), or assume they’re not part of the same group or aren’t resident.
White estimates, including my estimates, of “how many Black people are there in my city / social group” have turned out to be consistently low (outside of things like immigration scaremongering, which I guess is maybe a different thing?).
Or, y’know, of course it could also be that the exclusion in your area is massive enough that there literally aren’t any openly non-monogamous Black people. Like I said, I can’t comment for you and your area!
(via radtransfem)
- is about honoring and protecting the rights and safety of individuals engaging in CONSENSUAL ACTS.
- it’s not about getting them to stand and applaud your sexual prowess
- It’s totally about you being able to do that
- it;s not about assuring that if you find a formula you will be…
Come and join a multifandom/original fiction threesomes and moresome big bang! FAQ/Rules/Schedule
There’s a Dreamwidth mirror too! FAQ/Rules/Schedule Sign Ups: Author | Artist
Poly Bang is awesome! Hoping for a wide array of fandom and…
For some people of color, being poly is a serious cultural risk. We risk being alienated and disowned by our indigenous community, and while there are many polys who incur this risk, people of color have historically relied upon their community for survival. It’s well-documented that every non-white race in America has been forcibly indoctrinated into the prevailing white culture. People of color were forced to leave their own culture and religion behind and so—in order to survive—they assimilated and rallied around the communities they rebuilt.
[…]
Being a polyamorous person of color effectively means leaving this all behind for a community that is currently blind to intra-racial tensions, or struggling to hold on to both. As a product of that generation, but having been raised in suburban neighborhoods, my life has always been a constant struggle to live between two cultures and two communities. Although both my parents are black, I’m enveloped by the dominant white culture. Societal norms, thoughts, opinions and actions are directed and/or influenced by whiteness, while my knowledge and love of history, culture and sociology tugs at my cultural roots and the burning desire to define my own blackness. Coupled with this is the external and internal fight to relate to those of my own race and ethnicity, including those who begrudgingly or unknowingly indoctrinate themselves with the current American capitalist stereotype of blackness. One the one hand, I have black people questioning and criticizing my ignorance of the nuances of the American capitalist stereotype of blackness and subsequent deep immersion into white culture, while on the other I have white friends and loved ones oblivious to these struggles. I can’t count how many times poly people—and non-poly people—have joked with me about being a “pimp” or having a harem, without a single thought of the struggles I may be facing against those negative stereotypes.
Community is more than just an acceptance of individuals; it’s about respecting individuality in its entirety. Yes, we are all humans and we all have our struggles, but erasing history is erasing personhood, and that destroys individuality. The polyamorous community spends a lot of time talking about partying, having lots of sex, and how we are unfairly treated by the mainstream monogamous culture. However, when the spotlight falls on us, it is too easy for us to return to our comfortable societal norms of mainstream culture, and tokenize different marginalized groups so we can claim we are “diverse”. So, in writing this article, I’ve taken up the “token black guy” mantle again…only this time, I brought a mirror.
” —Poly And Race: Poly and Black, by B. L. Bunche
See also:
(via maymay)
I finally had sex with the transient and it was fun and my husband was excited for me! Overall it was a good fucking night. I could not have thought of anyone better to be my second, I didn’t feel pressure or insecure or uncomfortable it just felt natural. I’m happy and I can go to sleep now.
- You have the right to be treated with respect—you are not half a person just because you are single.
- You have the right to have your feelings heard and respected and responded to.
- You have the right to ask for anything you want—the person you ask may not have to give it to you, but you are…
July 2012
18 posts
your poly is only politicaly relevant to me if…
- you center respect and love for women and femmes in how you do relationships.
- you understand and care about how your actions in relationships are directly connected to the well being of…
I currently operate under the guise of relationship anarchist. You wonder what rules for these type of people are? Well, that’s going to be tough, because not all of us relationship anarchist follow the same set of rules, we each operate on a different wavelength, though there can be many…
A munch is a social gathering for people who are polyamorous and/or kinky. They’re usually in public places and, thus, kept at PG or PG-13. Munches are great for meeting other poly/kinky people, networking, and just getting out of the dungeon every now and then. FetLife is a great resources to find munches in your area.
NOTICE: MUNCHES ARE TERRIBLE FOR FIRST DATES!!!!
Someone recently asked me how non-monogamous people can protect themselves from STIs, and I figured I’d share the information in a longer-format essay as well.
Understand Your Risk. Different flavors of non-monogamy carry different STI risks. If you’re practicing polyfidelity, and/or your…
