Poly People of Color

liquornspice:

blackamazon:

• red: i’ll tell you a fact about myself.
• orange: I’ll tell you 5 of my favorite things.
• yellow: I’ll tell you a secret of mine.
• green: I’ll tell you a fact about my appearance.
• blue: I’ll tell you a fact about my personality.
• purple: I’ll tell you 3…

tiaramerchgirl:

Reblogging for EXCELLENT commentary.

psalmintheair:

[snip]

HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE.

On first read I didn’t realise that this was serious. Then I read the outraged comment underneath, did a double take, and clicked the link to view the source.

Wait a minute, this wasn’t satire? This wasn’t a tongue-in-cheek piece meant to poke fun at the way some sexual people view the idea of sexless romantic relationships? This was actual advice offered to a minimally sexual person in search of understanding and guidance? 

Dan Savage, I don’t know where to start. Firstly, you clearly don’t understand asexuality. It’s not about lack of confidence, for starters. I’m an ace and I am fucking proud of my body. I am not a virgin and you know what? While I was having sex, I was good at it. I stopped having sexual relationships solely because I don’t like sex. I know that, as a sexual person, this might be hard for you to fathom. It’s like when someone tells me they don’t like chocolate. That seems bizarre to me. I fucking love chocolate. I eat it all the time. Sometimes I crave it so badly that I go out of my way to get it. It’s delicious. It’s satisfying.

But chocolate isn’t for everyone. Some people just don’t like it. There is nothing wrong with those people’s taste buds or their attitude towards eating chocolate. They just don’t like it. Their personal tastes shouldn’t be questioned just because they are a minority and most people can’t imagine a life without chocolate. They shouldn’t be forced to try different types of chocolate, or made to feel weird because they don’t like it. Chocolate eaters need accept that different tastes exist, and move on. The fact that some people don’t like chocolate doesn’t threaten your right to eat and enjoy it yourself. If you feel like your enjoyment of chocolate and confidence in your chocolate eating ability is threatened just because someone else isn’t interested in chocolate, well, that’s your problem.

Moving on from the chocolate metaphor (because I think I’ve beaten that dead horse enough), since when did sex become an obligatory part of a romantic relationship? Yes, most people involved in a romantic relationship expect that sex will, eventually, be a part of it. Whether it be at the end of the first date, or after three, or after months, or after a wedding, sex usually comes in to the picture. But only because both partners want sex. Just like people who want to do a lot of talking in their relationship are going to be most compatible with someone else who enjoys frequent and open communication.

And yes. If an asexual knowingly entered into a relationship with someone they knew to be sexual and lead that person to believe that they also enjoyed sex and would want to engage in sexual activities in the future, that would be unfair. Dishonesty of any sort is unfair in a relationship. 

But asexuals should not be disqualified from the dating pool just because they want different things out of a relationship than fully sexual individuals. If they are open about their asexuality when the subject comes up, they aren’t doing any harm. They aren’t ‘inflicting’ themselves on poor hapless sexuals who are now going to find themselves trapped forever in a sexless relationship with a permanent case of blueballs. Asexuals are simply seeking out like-minded individuals to establish a romantic connection with.

Sex is not a necessary or obligatory part of dating or relationships, but a personal choice. No one is obligated to be in a sexual relationship if they do not wish to be, just as no one is obligated to enter into a sexless relationship if sex is something they need from their partner. 

For those who fall in between asexuality and full sexuality, things get a little more complicated. They need to find someone who is willing to have some sex, but either has a lower than average sex drive like themselves, or is willing to compromise and find a happy medium that both sides of the relationship are comfortable and happy with.

Compromise is an important part of any relationship. And while no one should compromise themselves, it is perfectly normal for people to make some compromises in order to improve compatibility with the person they love. While no one should ask a person do deny themselves sex, there are a lot of people who value other things before sex and would be perfectly happy to have less sex than they are used to in order to make a relationship work with someone who has a lower sex drive than themselves. And for those who aren’t? Fine. They are entitled to seek out as much sex as they like, with fully sexual partners.

Having asexuals and demi-sexuals in the dating pool isn’t going to limit anyone’s options - just broaden their horizons. 

tiaramerchgirl:

The Sweet Spot is an Australian online sex store, geared towards women. What I really liked about it is that they stock certain things that are really hard to find anywhere anymore (let alone in Australia), such as Sugar High Glitter City, a candy-coated artsy alternative lesbian flick (that kept getting recommended to me by a certain Awkward Turtle), and Dr. Carol Queen’s Real Live Nude Girl, which documents pretty much the start of the San Francisco sex-positive movement. That book is so hard to find now that even Carol Queen herself doesn’t have too many copies left - I had to hunt mine down second-hand as the last copy - so the fact that The Sweet Spot has them is pretty rad.

The Sweet Spot are really supportive of my San Fran Plan and have offered this:

Buy anything on The Sweet Spot website using the coupon code TIARA and 10% will go towards me and the San Fran Plan.

This offer is eligible anywhere, so if you’ve been hunting down for queer alt sexytimes and don’t want to dive around for a rare second-hand copy of anything, go and support these ladies - and support me too!

xicanagrrrl:

Egh. I guess they’re tryna get at… What things do you hate about people you are romantically involved with, but that have to do with their gender?

Bleh. Lets just do five things I need to remember when in love.

1. They’re living their own lives too. You aren’t the center of…

sexualassumptions:

I want to add to the tool kit of these women fighting for social justice by providing a better understanding of our sexuality as human beings; not as whatever religious belief we may identify with, not from the vantage point of where we may fit socioeconomically, not as homosexual or heterosexual, not as male or female, but as a species. There is so much work to be done. There is so much injustice. But we are not isolated. We are not on our own. We have each other, and I am promising to do my part.

sexualassumptions:

Definition:

1. (n.) A behavior of becoming attracted to or aroused by intelligence and its use.

dopegirlfresh:

because i’m cis, BUT

why is it when i enter a space that’s proclaimed as safe for trans* people, it’s almost always exclusively FAAB trans* and non-binary persons?

maybe the answer is obvious. because the influence of radfems and their ilk has most certainly spread far and wide, and almost…

queeringautism:

Too often, there has been an assumption made about Autistics (Autism Spectrum individuals) that we are all straight, cis, monogamous, and variously “not Queer.” 

The purpose of this blog is to:

1) Create a space where discussions of being Autistic and Queer can happen/be Shared.

2) Create visibility of the fact that Autistics can, in fact, be various types of Queer.

3) Provide a form of support for Queer Autistics on tumblr. 

We hope to receive submissions from Autistics with Queer IDs. We hope that people using the Ask function can help facilitate meaningful discussions on the topic. We want to hear from trans* folk, GLB folk, Asexuals and Grey As, Non-binaries, and other folk with various other queer IDs. We welcome PoC participation, and hope to see discussions that include that aspect of Identity as well. 

Queer Autistics- We exist.

tiaramerchgirl:

Theme: “Disguises, costumes and props. Romantic role-player or kinky character, I see by your outfit that you are a…what?”

My entry:

sugar honey caramel skin melting sweet salty juices syrup brushes onto clit slit hair oh yes just there - i am your candy girl