Scarlet Road centres on Ms Wotton’s tireless campaigning for the rights of sex workers and for people with disabilities who are typically perceived as asexual and not in the dating game.
May 2011
67 posts
There is an article (or many many) circulating labeling SlutWalk and its organizers as white supremacists (and a few others things which we aren’t, like all law students). This article was written with reflection, analysis & some necessary criticism, but there are some criticisms we would bring to it also. We are not all white or white supremacists and it’s so sad that people truly think we are. SlutWalk’s representation has been predominately of white women or those who appear white - this is a valid and necessary critique. We may not have done as good a job as others would want and need to see in discussing race, racism or white privilege. We’re constantly working to learn more and do better. It’s important to bring different groups of women, in different parts of the world, who are experiencing sexual violence into the conversation as this article does. We always need to acknowledge the people, in unfortunate increasing numbers, who are being sexually violated. But SlutWalk started in Toronto without any idea of it happening elsewhere. We focused our message locally to discuss sexual assaults upon women, men, children and all genders in Toronto and in Canada. This includes discussing sexual assault experienced by people of colour including indigenous communities that have outrageous accounts of murdered and missing women in Canada, and the experiences of women and people of different abilities, of women who live in poverty and all people who experience exploitation and sexual violence, the experiences of students on campuses, people in their Canadian homes, queer people and the marginalization and violence they face and so many more.
We ARE some women of colour and have been working with many women of colour and people of colour as organizers, speakers, supporters, survivors and participants. Assumptions are being made based on names and photos. Do we need to do better to include more representation and address more issues critically? Yes. But is it okay to paint a big, expansive group of people with the same ‘white’ brush and tell them they’re all ‘white’ regardless of their skin colour, heritage, experience and community? No.
Please help us share this information and encourage people to engage in conversations with those involved in SlutWalk. We’re a diverse group of people and don’t believe in the supremacy of any identity.
” —slutwalk (via grrrlvirus)
This response makes me feel as though these women didn’t read the entire article. Instead of getting defensive and starting off by saying that they are being labeled white supremacists (which they are NOT, I repeat, NOT being labeled as) why not respond to some of the issues being brought to question. The title about white supremacy is bringing up the point that the organization has found it better to use white leadership and the media has found it more appropriate to only interview white feminists on the merits of Slutwalk. This is subtle white supremacy because it reproduces the idea that white women’s stories are somehow more relevant, important, or worthy than women of color. The media also paints the picture that only white women have opinions of merit worth debating SlutWalk and that women of color might not have anything to say. And if women of color were more involved with SlutWalk, maybe the media might ask more feminists of color their opinion on the walks merits?
No one ever fucking called you a white supremacist. If you want to understand and learn more, know this. The very idea that you wanted to include women of color’s voices as a second option, the fact that you had to learn and listen to even begin thinking about women of color and their experiences, still expresses the values of white supremacy. Not because you are a white supremacist, but because you have the privilege to think of us as a second group, an after thought, an other. It is white supremacy and its very ideals and systems that make these disputes possible. That make it so that it takes hordes of women of color to say something before white women begin thinking about how they can be more pro-active.
I don’t think assumptions were being made just on photos. This article you are responding to makes note of the various women who are interviewed and get spotlight time over any kind of woman of color. You don’t see a problem with this? Furthermore, to not address the issue of the police and the fact that even if you decided to organize solely in Toronto, that police collaboration might not be the best way to create what seems like a safe space for women of color. The same women who you say experience disgusting violence and fear, the same women who also are likely to get less justice and service for that violence and fear, less access to healthcare for that violence and fear, less sympathy and access to someone to listen to for that violence and fear.
After I finish this, let me just say, its also a bad start to say we are also women of color. Let us hear the women of color. THEY HAVE THEIR OWN FUCKING VOICES. We don’t need to meld into yours to have a voice. If the women of color in your organization feel this way, let them say this. Give them a voice. As a woman of color, let them say, this was not our intention, we did not mean to be to come off as exclusionary. They can share their stories about how the organization welcomed them and made them feel comfortable. And if those women of color don’t want to speak or tell their story, that is cool too. But don’t say, Oh “we are some women of color” and expect that to erase the critique and real substance to that article. Its like you are trying to discredit the critique that was made in the first place. Just as the article said that woman who was interviewed and complained about her spotlight time just had to condescendingly correct her did. Even if you don’t believe in the supremacy of any one identity, society does. And when women of color talk and explain ways to make us feel that you really want to get rid of that, maybe its time to just shut the fuck up and listen. This might be harsh, but I got pissed the hell off seeing this.
(via strugglingtobeheard)
Wait…what?! These words are FIRE! How did I miss all this??????
::sits up and pays attention::
(via liquornspice)
The Public Library of New London announced today that it will host a speed-dating event for book lovers between the ages of 21 and 35. The event will be held on Thursday, May 12, 2011, from 6:30 to 8 pm in the Community Room in the library at 63 Huntington Street. Single young adults are…
RT @YoloAkili: RT @Anti_Intellect: Plz do not wish marriage on Oprah&Stedman. If they wanted part of that hetero prison system they woul …
:/
we can start with juthika
and then me if you want~
Oh, there’d be a lot of material if you included me. 8D
HELLO, Mistress Creative Sexytimes here!
Before Stadium opened, I visited to tour the club and hang out with my old manager. I sat with him while he went through all the applications and tossed out the ones for Black dancers and staff. He outright said that he wanted the club 90% white. It’s ironic, because he couldn’t keep it that way. Stadium is now known as the hottest Black strip club in DC.
I’ve heard managers openly talking about the black girl ban and have seen my club harass and refuse entry to (upscale, not the least bit hood) Black and Hispanic men.
I’m sick of hearing “Ew, I don’t like Black girls”, “I don’t tip niggers”, and being called Precious. It hurts my feelings whenever I try to talk to custies and they say that I’m lying about liking rock music or mockingly talk with fake ghetto slang. Guys that would never put their hands on a white girl physically push me away because they assume that I’m Black and tougher.
During slow nights I’ve sat upstairs and watched the stage empty every time a woman of color goes on.
There’s a reason why my club doesn’t keep Black dancers around for long.” —
Dr. Clear Heels (via fuckyeahstrippershit)
Reading shit like this sometimes makes me feel like someone curb stomped my soul :(
(via liquornspice)
Thank you for reminding us (and the world) who we are and how long we been here! Grateful for your illumination of truth!
So here I am taking the torch to explain what Two Spirit, in general and personally, means. It is separate and distinct from LGBTQIA realms, but sometimes intermingles. I would like to note that normal in terms of indigenous population was things that happened in nature and thus in tribal autonomy.
Fact: Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersexed, and asexual, and polyamorous/polyandrous/polygamous beings existed in tribal peoples (and in lore/spirits) as we understand in the dictionary definition.
Fact: These labels were either generally understood as ‘normal’ and may not have had an associating word to them. Labels appear in order to separate/categorize people, which was rare because first and foremost the member was still part of the Principal People. Only distinct, specific terms were prominently seen in Pueblo peoples.
Fact: The understanding of gender identity as separate from sexual orientation existed in tribal society.
Fact: One could still be called a man or a woman (from their biological sex) and still act in gender nonconformed ways. This too was considered natural. A one time dance where a male takes a feminine role was not going to label him for life. These things were normal.
We are separate because we regard these things in a broader context of what is normal human variation in people, rather than “this is bad, so you have to stop”, which is primarily a Western concept.
I firmly believe gender and body dysphoria are products of colonization and Christianization. This does not delegitimize the experience of gender dysphoria experienced in WASP-transgender people and colonized transgender peoples, but that they too are forced to take on the perceived notions of gender and what is expected of the “perfect man” and “perfect woman”. In indigenous culture, it hardly was how one looked, but how they worked within the tribal autonomy that determined their status, as well as self-identification. Gender roles were not strict and rigid in many societies in middle America. Gender roles as we know them are also from a Western lens, which can’t or sometimes doesn’t match up completely to Native understandings of gender roles. One may view a woman urging her husband to not give in to the cavalry (though they are starving) as a masculine/pushy woman, and this is undoubtedly from a Westernized lens.
So you see, a Native’s understanding of their sexual and gender identity is vastly different due to the linguistic and cultural context that they are in. So while it shares Western characteristics of LGBT spectrum, the truth of the matter is it is still a bit…different, from it. “Queer” is probably the closest word I could find that matches to two spirit.
Thanks, and I hope this brings some discussion!
this is where the cult of respectability is a proven failure. this is the moment where black folks can stop blaming working class black folk, loose women and young folk.
because if black women have been dressing proper and keeping our leg clothes and being “good role models”,
if after literally…
oh my god. yes. yes. yes. i simply cannot stand this ‘respectability’ shit. and ‘what would white people say’ (as if white culture isnt saying enough about black women) and this so goes into the demonization of black mothering (welfare queens) and specifically how black sexism operates inside the culture (the policing of black women under the banner of respectability) and how we buy into this individualist culture to the point where we act as if the personal decisions of black women in terms of self expression is to be held as the one of the primary reasons for white folks racism.
and i say this. i got white family. and one of the brothers always brings up bet, like im going to offended that he doesnt like bet. im like dude, white folks own bet. hear me? that is how rich and powerful white folks want black folks to be portrayed.
can we start a campaign to put steve harvey out of a job? srsly? cause i got black fam that actually listen and quote that fucker. (it probably comes as no surprise that i come from a family with some fucked up gender/sexuality issues…)
There has to be some kind of social justice critique of masturbation as “infidelity” but I am hesitant to gargle it because I’ve had quite enough of the things I’ve had to read so far.
Needless to say, all of the articles I have found on the subject so far are horribly sexist, cissexist, and binarist. Basically, they all position masturbation as:
- Something that only cis het men do because it’s a bit of a deliciously furtive secret for them because hey men will be men;
- Something that cis het women absolutely don’t do because they are too busy screaming at their partners for doing it and generally being jealous and wildly insecure shrews.
It’s all framed within a heterowonderful and cisnormative monogamous relationship, especially within the context of marriage. This places great emphasis on the idea of “official” mutual sexual relations, so sex - the right kind of sex - as being integral to any and all types of relationship. The whole thing erases and oppresses so many groups of people and just doesn’t make any bloody sense.
What all these articles on wanking-as-infidelity also utterly fail to get into is why cis women will react so vehemently to the very idea. It’s because the writer probably feels they don’t need to: everyone knows that cis women are insecure with weak ladybrains and don’t possess a real sex drive, so sex always becomes a rare and precious jewel to be won by begging and blandishment rather than enthusiastic mutual consent! So cis women obviously can’t understand masturbation. Unless they are sluts or worse. Gasp! Horror!
It’s only quite unfortunately recently occurred to me that it is wrong to shame someone for being insecure, particularly a woman or any other person in some sort of marginalised category. Women are always being told they are not good enough, not attractive enough, that men are uncontrollably sexual creatures who fantasize about everyone, that these fantasies are rehearsals for actual infidelity (if not infidelity itself), and that furthermore each indiscretion on her part is a rehearsal for the day that he finally tires of her because all men ever are “biologically wired” to be like that. These messages are repeated in every conceivable type of product sold to girls and women: in magazines, splashed across billboards, repeated every minute on television on programs and the adverts inbetween. Women are the subject and object of these things from the day they are born. Even if you do wriggle free and try to turn it all inside out for whatever reason, sometimes it rears its head again and threatens to undo the wall you’ve built up against it. Sometimes it’s so hard to think, “This doesn’t apply to me because it’s a whole heap of bullshit.”
And yet people love to tell women to not be so whiny and insecure. Why, you’re beautiful, can’t you see? Oh, well, you must want to be upset. Women are like that: over-emotional. Over-sensitive. Insecure. Irrational. It’s not like society puts them in such an awkward position that they cannot even express their rage and despair at being marginalised without it simply being a repetition of the very stereotype which cages them.
I would just like to add here that just because you love her doesn’t mean she is obliged to love herself, as if your love is a cure-all for personal and systemic issues. And it is at this point that the problem is disclosed: the need to preserve the vanity and status of the privileged by derailing the conversation. Let’s not reconfigure how we look at sexuality and relationships, let’s just be sexist instead!
RT @YoloAkili: I believe that you just flow and find what works for you. When your monogamous, be monogamous. When open, be open. #DoYou …
I’m a porn performer. I’m out as a sex worker in pretty much all areas of my life, but up till about a year and a half ago I was fairly quiet about the specifics of my sex work. That’s been changing for me as of late, as I’ve been performing in porn that means a lot to my politics and personal…
I am a big fan of fanfiction and one of the authors I visit almost daily lives with her two husbands and one girlfriend in a polyamorous family unit. A recent blog she wrote about how polyamorous people interact with their ex’s got me thinking….could an asexual be part of a polyamorous relationship? Also, could several asexual people form their own emotionally and mentally intimate family, and be called polyamorous? If polyamory and asexuality can co-exist in one family unit, how? I understand part of the closeness that results in most kinds of relationships is through physical intimacy. If one person in the relationship does not want sex from the other members, will that person be as close to the others who do engage in sex with each other?
What are your opinions?
If anyone has experience with polyamory, I’d love to hear your opinions too! I’m not very informed when it comes to this lifestyle, but I am always curious.
At Yes Means Yes blog (I know, but it’s a good article.) Lots of quotes from other works here.
The most ubiquitous example posits assertiveness as inconsistent with submission. Once, when I articulated a point in a heated conceptual debate, a member of the group asked me whether I was sure I was a submissive. Another time I asked a companion (a top-identified man) to order my coffee while I went to the restroom, prompting another person at the table to exclaim, “Hey, I thought you were a sub!“
On still another occasion, I went to retrieve my coat from a booth at the club. Catherine was sitting between it and me. When I asked her to let me by so that I could reach it, Hugh (a dominant-identified man) suggested that I crawl under the table for it.
and
Carrie told me that her husband (and other men) enjoyed being in a group of all male dominants and female submissives because “they feel uncomfortable” and “would rather not be around” couples that play differently. By this, she means “he would not want to be next to a woman topping a guy or a gay male couple,” both “styles” of play that challenge the parallel construction of gender/sexuality. The homophobia of some of the heterosexual men in the pansexual scene reflects anxiety about maintaining appropriate masculinity; it is the community expression of what many have theorized about masculinity. If proper masculinity is fundamentally about heterosexuality and the disavowal of homosexuality, then it makes sense that for some men (in a scene and in everyday life), gay male sexuality or female dominant sexuality are two related scenes of horror.
All consonant with my experience. I’m skeptical of the comments saying that the TNG (youth) BDSM scene is loads better and it’s a generational thing.
The movement for gay marriage has had a strong push among very class-privileged people, because they are the people with trusts and with property and with health care. If you’re gay, black, poor and you don’t have any access to insurance, the question of whether your partner can be included on your insurance is not just relevant to the health needs of your life. What would be more relevant is national health care!” —bell hooks (via queeraspie)