Legalizing gay marriage is addressing a symptom but not the root problem. No matter who is allowed to get married, there will always be people—of all sexual orientations—who don’t want to get married, and their choice currently means they will not have the same rights and rewards given to their married peers. That problem won’t go away even once gay marriage is nationally legal. As long as marriage privilege is allowed to continue, there is inequality present and all unmarried persons suffer for it. Legalizing gay marriage also does nothing for polyamorous people, who can’t legally marry all of their partners and therefore miss out on legal and practical benefits. In other words, the real problem here is not controlling who can marry based on sexual orientation; the problem here is that marriage privilege even exists in the first place and creates inequality between married and unmarried people.

I recognize that the likelihood of legal marriage being abolished in America is next to none. I’m sure it will exist until the end of the world. If marriage as an institution will continue to exist, then at the very least, it must be knocked off its pedestal and redefined as a way to commit to any primary partnership, not just a romantic-sexual monogamous relationship. That’s in addition to allowing anyone and everyone to marry whoever they want and as many people as they want.